Dear friends and family,
Regarding my PTSD…
It’s not easy to explain myself or even remember what it is I need to say. I am hoping this letter can make some sense of everything. Because of my PTSD, I can have real difficulty explaining myself to others. Apart from memory problems, PTSD is a complex disorder to try and explain.
I have PTSD because of extreme traumas – events that I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemies. This means that various things, people, and situations in the present may “trigger” me. They can trigger painful emotional reactions beyond my instant control. These reactions may not make much sense to those around me. They can be sudden and feel uncontrollable.
When I “trigger”, I may become dysfunctional for awhile. Emotions arise. I may cry uncontrollably, be frightened, or angry. I may have troubles speaking and thinking. I may become extroverted or introverted. It may take some time for me to get back to my emotional balance.
I cannot always predict when I may be triggered. My excessive emotions will happen. These reactions have worried and disturbed those around me. It can be frightening. I do feel bad, but it is beyond my control.
PTSD is a physical injury – it affects the brain. It is treatable, but not curable. It can manifest itself in many other ways, not just emotion. I believe it appropriate to explain to you the emotional side of things. I may need space and seem distant. I may seem like a different person.
Please know that I need your understanding, and deeply appreciate it and the efforts that you make to understand my situation. Please be patient as I learn to manage my symptoms while I am healing.
I appreciate and thank you for reading this. I hope it provides a bit of understanding and insight into how I live each day,